WHO AM I?
Moving to a new country and a different culture can change us forever! We spend our entire lives working ourselves out. Cultures, traditions, history, weather, religions, languages, have shaped us in many different ways and have a powerful impact on our decisions and behaviour. Our subconscious has been fed on all this and is an extremely effective tool that plays an important role in our daily lives. However, how can an individual like myself be affected by relocating to a new place, and how has a new culture changed me?
Lost in Two Cities
‘Lost in Two Cities’ is a snapshot in time and place through felt experience; melding present and past, west and east, sensory and imagined. My sense of identity constantly floats through the narrow old streets of Edinburgh and Beirut.
Cities can reveal themselves spontaneously by the turn of a corner or a chance glimpse upward. Or insidiously, by hidden poverty behind busy thoroughfares or a sense of despair and violence in a dark alleyway. Cities are memories and emotions and experiences that we carry with us, often unrecognised. Corners often turned, glimpses upward for no apparent reason. Until we become found or lost again.
This artwork evokes my uncertain experience in leaving Beirut, Lebanon, and relocating to Edinburgh, Scotland. ‘Lost in Two Cities’ is many people’s experience. Moving to a new place, to a different culture, and carrying with them their dreams, their hopes and all the past, to face a new future is a journey mixed with excitement, happiness, curiosity, challenge, discovery and also some fear.
Rites of Passage
‘Rites of Passage’ is a contemplation of inner journey and outer consequence. The child contained within and the man presented without; inner stillness amidst restless turbulence.
‘Rites of Passage’ is a personal ceremony signifying an exciting new chapter in my life. The ritual that different societies might place on us moving to adulthood and maturation is here synthesised into a questioning of everything; the past and the uncertain future. It is my experience in leaving my birth country of Lebanon, and migrating to Scotland; leaving much behind and bringing myself, my art and my memories aside. Integration is an ongoing multi-faceted challenge where my arms remain open whilst my feelings crystalise and coalesce.
‘Rites of passage’ is a kind of questioning of all these emotions which were triggered during this transition, trying to understand more about my true self, complexities about my identity and the deeper meaning of my existence. It is a constant restlessness searching in this mysterious world. This collage is a quest to assemble, in pieces, what was stolen from me as a child during the merciless civil war and merging them in the way that I had dreamt about when I was sheltering.
It’s a passage to a place where the future could again be brighter, and rich with hope and meaning. The colours used in this artwork, pitch black, dull pale beige, strong vibrant blue and orange, reflect both sadness and contentment, fear and excitement, restlessness and hope.
Neighbourhood
'Everything is hibernating, Mother Nature is hiding her treasures, even the elderly people are shielding safely indoors, escaping from the harsh unbearable bitterly cold winter. Everything looks dark and grey. The entire city is clad in black, as if mourning its silent empty streets and its barren gardens. The heavy dark clouds are fighting and competing between themselves for who is bigger, thicker and stronger. The sea is fierce and angry, its waves roaring loudly and hitting the shore intensely without mercy. But today is different, it is an unusual day, peaceful and quiet as if the gods decided to relax from their mission for a while. Then, the queen sets off for a stroll'.
'This is Edinburgh, the Queen of the North. She is a Queen with her exquisite long dark dress and walks with proud consciousness while the bitterly cold breeze gently kisses her angelic youthful face. Her ancient beauty has not changed throughout the centuries,
as if time had decided to stop without mustering the courage to etch a line on her face. Her beauty is mysterious and unique, and her garments constantly revealing various dark shades of black which add sorrow and sadness, beauty and elegance. Her characteristic smells and aroma are a mixture of brewing and bread, evocative of all life in the city. All this pervades the air and brings an unusual, weird feeling of cosiness and nostalgia, reminiscent of what would have been the olden days'.
‘Neighbourhood’ is a distillation of iconic structures. They are all squeezed together, thus evoking the deeply polarising aspects of Edinburgh; the old and the new, the religious and secular, growth and decay, dark and light. Cities can captivate and intrigue and confuse in their beauty and menace, extravagance and deprivation, holding both joy and despair.
Through The Window
Memories define us and yet are illusory. This picture reveals a moment of contemplation viewing my unscripted early childhood in Beirut; an image that comforts and grounds me. Yet did it actually happen, or is it a dream that gives significance to my past?
Memories are the most powerful resources that keep us alive and create meanings to our existence. In other words, memories are life itself. We step into this incomprehensible world and depart, leaving our memories behind. These are memories that we have created, that shape us and that we pass on from generation to generation to remain here.
This image is a reflection of myself in this uncertain surreal world. It illustrates a contrast of illusion and reality, past and future, war and peace, desperation and hope in black, white and colour. It is a combination of two scenes; the traditional buildings of Beirut and the iconic Edinburgh Castle. This piece catches a moment that takes me back in time to this little child who was oblivious to what life was hiding. This moment took place in Beirut in one of the typical old areas of this ancient Mediterranean Phoenician city. Luckily, this area hadn’t been totally destroyed during the war; a fascinating neighbourhood where we used to play with what was available, trying to catch a moment of freedom during a temporary ceasefire.
These children’s faces are hidden and anonymous. Anonymous in the eyes of the world. Their identities destined to be denied from the moment they were born. They are innocent, playing happily together, forgetting their fear and isolation and unaware of their stolen future. In the background, there is the impressive and fascinating historic castle of Edinburgh with the seagulls flying freely and peacefully above. This picture of the castle is mixture of illusion and reality where peace and hope can co-exist.